Friends

FRIENDSHIP VS. FANSHIP “I just don’t fit in anywhere.  I feel alone most of the time, except with my husband.  I really don’t have any friends; I don’t have time to hang out with people as friends.  We don’t really talk to any other pastors.” I have met quite a few pastors and leaders who […]

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Mean Girls and Modesty

LAY OFF THE LADIES I still cringe a little bit inside, remembering.  I was in my mid-twenties and single again.  I’d dropped a few pounds, having lost my appetite for a while after my husband died.  I went into my office and found a note that had been slipped under the door.  As I opened […]

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Nehemiah’s Unconventional Princesses

Princesses are supposed to behave conventionally.  The classic princess story goes something like this.  A good, sweet girl falls on hard times, and then meets a rich, powerful boy who rescues her.  She lives the rest of her princess life in happily ever after—private luxury, ease, and privilege.  Every now and again, however, princesses don’t follow […]

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On Church and Change

NEW VERSUS NORMAL In the fourteen years that I helped put together church services for Family Christian Center, we did some crazy out-there stuff.  Trying to describe to new friends what my role was like is almost comical.  People listen to me talk about the animals and their excretions, the Thriller zombies, and shooting arrows into screens […]

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On Pain and Healing

WHEN RICH DIED I don’t often talk about my experiences when Rich, my first husband, died.  It has not been for a lack of dear, sweet people who ask me about it.  In the months and years after his passing, I have found myself tongue-tied again and again, retreating into private grief.  I felt awkward […]

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The Difference Between Crimea and the Matriarch Ruth: Cultural Realignment

CULTURAL IDENTITY In between the pervasive news about the lost Malaysian airliner, we have had snippets of information about what is unfolding in the Ukraine.  It’s pretty fascinating to me that the Crimean people would vote to detach themselves from their country and reattach to another country.  (This particular country, oddly enough, has had a long history […]

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The Purple Velvet Hammer

My husband is a boxing and MMA fan.  This means that from time to time, to be a loving wife, I am subjected to a few hours of wincing and mild nausea.  Every so often, there will be a pair of girls who jump into the cage and try to tear each other apart.  It just feels awkward […]

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Why Getting Paid by Your Church Doesn’t Make Serving Easier

When I was a little girl, I watched the woman who played the piano on stage and the ladies who led worship and knew that’s what I wanted to do.  Before I even knew that you needed money to live, I wanted the church to be my profession.  I started serving in church as a […]

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When Things are Bananas, Focus on the Fruit

It’s inevitable. We all face seasons when life is less than peachy. Our leadership is producing nothing but lemons. All our pretty, pretty pleas for help must be lacking the cherry on top, because no one is responding. As hard as you try, you just can’t find that sweet spot; and all that hard work […]

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Just For Girls, Just For Fun: A Look Into My Handbag

My top sixteen leadership-essential accessories that I keep with me in my handbag all the time: (My handbag is pretty big.) *left to right, top to bottom 1. Coverup, powder, mascara, lip color, eyeliner, and eyelash curler. You never know when you will need to stand in front of people and communicate. These things help […]

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